If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
