So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
