Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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