I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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