I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the raccoons are back...
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