Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
