carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
