It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
