My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
