Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
