maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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