Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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