I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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