Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
should my penis look like a turkey
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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