Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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