I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
40s are totally the cure
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
