You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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