This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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