Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
