Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
