4 words: hood of his car
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
