So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
