My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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