party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
