those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
