We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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