Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
