you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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