im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Your cock deserves a montage
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
