is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
