Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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