I'm going to jail i love you
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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