Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
