this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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