How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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