I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize