There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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