Too much gin, very little bucket
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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