So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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