well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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