no, he came in my armpit
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
