what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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