We won't sleep together?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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