All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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