Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
