The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my shit smells like andre
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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