And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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