So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
