I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
