so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
