I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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