never play flip cup with pint glasses
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
