dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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