Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
