we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
