everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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