So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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