Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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