Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
