): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i black out too much to be "responsible"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
