im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
