He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
