i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
