I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
