just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
