You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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