last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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